Truth be Told

Posted on February 12, 2013 by admin

Remember the story of Pinocchio: the little boy whose nose grew longer whenever he lied? Or the antics of Jim Carey in the ‘90s classic film “Liar Liar,” where he plays Fletcher Reede, a fast-talking lawyer who has built his career on a bed of lies? After Reede’s son makes a birthday wish that his dad stop lying, Jim Carey is suddenly only able to tell the truth and his world is turned upside down. Or perhaps you’re a fan of the current hit TV Drama, “Suits?” Acknowledged for its fashion flair, it focuses on the legal partnership between flashy lawyer Harvey—and and his legal assistant Mike—who professes to be a Harvard law grad but never even attended any law school. Mike’s just really smart. So the two tolerate the “big lie” for convenience sake.

Another film focused on the drama around lies is “Autumn in New York” starring Wynonna Ryder and Richard Gere. Ryder’s character has an uncanny ability to sense when someone’s lying (sort of like parents and teachers). For them it’s not magic, it comes with practice. My mother used to say she saw it in our eyes and all over our faces whenever any of the five boys in our family even tried to stretch the truth, never mind offer up an outlandish false tale. I’m sure our students have similar relationships with parents at home.

I mention this today because no matter what our students are studying in school, each is essentially always seeking the truth, for in truth there is deeper understanding. What’s the correct answer to a problem? What’s the right thing to do, morally? In schools we are driven by the pursuit of truth.

Unfortunately, in our quest for the truth, we all lie. The world demands that we lie to sometimes to protect a friend–and probably most often to protect ourselves.

However, growing up it is natural for children to be “offside” and learn from it. So little white lies are common to avoid getting caught after breaking a minor rule. Kids are experts at making situations murky and testing boundaries. It’s a time-tested strategy of generations of children and teenagers.

Philosophers have long-debated the notion of the so-called “just lie.” For example, consider all the brave souls who hid Jews from the Nazi Storm Troopers during the Holocaust of the 1930’s. These are serious situations of compassion or personal safety in the face of evil that require dishonesty to achieve a truly just goal.

Sometimes we all tell little “white lies” or we bend the truth. A close friend shows up in a truly unfortunate new outfit declaring how much she loves it. You may likely quietly agree, not wanting to hurt her feelings. This kind of thing is not considered sinful or outrageous by anyone.

But how about clear omissions or blatant concealment to cover oneself or boost personal image or reputation? How far can the truth be bent before it’s too far? If children or teens get away with it, do they repeat it? Do they start to believe your own lies?

Unfortunately, we actually have a lot of examples of straight out lying presented to us in society on a regular basis.

The Quebec Charbonneau Commission looking into corruption and payoffs in Montreal has unearthed some very unseemly practices regarding contracts for work in our city—and there has been lots of media coverage about this deceit since the fall.

Also, the sad story of Lance Armstrong is a classic current example of a once-respected role model who has fallen from grace for lying and cheating. I was a big Armstrong fan years ago. I loved his book Not About the Bike, about overcoming cancer and the resiliency of the human spirit. However, just a few weeks ago he was exposed for his years of doping while on the cycling circuit. Even when he appeared on TV with Oprah to fess up publically, he succumbed to blaming others. His rationale that “everyone else was doing it” was a lame excuse. But it’s simply not an acceptable excuse. As a result of his lies, Armstrong has lost all of his seven Tour de France championship titles, along with millions of dollars in lucrative endorsements. Moreover, Armstrong’s “Live Strong Foundation” for cancer research has taken quite a knock. Most notably though, his situation is not primarily about the money. Armstrong has lost his integrity. Until his final breath and beyond, he will forever be labeled a deceitful liar.

Writer Eric Hoffer reminds us “when we lie, we lie loudest to ourselves” – about everything from what we spend and eat, to rationalizing our actions, however unattractive or unacceptable to others. For anyone who gets caught in that cycle, how many of your own lies do they start to believe?

The fact is that honesty and trust are the bedrock of strong relationships, whether in one’s family, here at school, among friends, the workplace, and the larger community.

We all depend on trust and honesty to build a sense of integrity over time. Without integrity and trust, the laws of the jungle would dominate.

To Lance Armstrong, to corrupt public officials on the take at city hall, and to students of LCC, I send a reminder: corruption and dishonesty corrodes. Like rust itself, corrosion destroys institutions, people and human relationships.

Yes, sometimes the untruth – the “white lie” – is morally acceptable. But don’t forget that it is honesty and integrity that binds us together. All human relations depend on the expectation that as a rule, we tell the truth and can have confidence in this as a constant When it comes to the so-called “big lie,” it will always corrode and destroy in a big way.

Let’s do our utmost to set examples by doing our best to seek the truth and defend honesty and integrity as core values at LCC. – Christopher Shannon, Headmaster

Ethics Dilemma – Politics and Leadership

Posted on April 29, 2011 by admin

I want my political leaders to do a lot of things for me. I want them to manage the economy; to deliver good educational programs; to provide health care, pensions, good highways, museums, parks, etc. But, often not considered—I want the politicians to be leaders of “character.” We can argue about how effectively one political party supports health care or highways, and we can differ in opinions about who is a good politician or not. Unfortunately, however, it’s pretty clear that most politicians don’t provide us with behaviour representing good character. This is especially true during an election campaign.

I think that as educators and parents we have a problem. Politics do not emphasize civility. Civility is behaving politely, calmly and reasonably even during heated debates. Civility means that we do not engage in personal attacks or harassment. Civility means we should treat each other with consideration and respect.

Yet our politicians speak in very disrespectful ways to, and about, their opponents. They stretch the truth and pretend ignorance when their misrepresentations are pointed out. They would have us believe that their opponents could ruin the country. They support “attack” ads. They continually represent bad character.

We teach our children/students to speak civilly to one another. We teach them to problem solve when relationships come into conflict. We have honour codes in schools emphasizing respect and consideration towards others. At home we don’t allow our children to speak disrespectfully to us as parents. We teach students about tolerance of opposing points of view. We work very hard in schools to shape a civil environment. We want our homes to be civil as well.

How are we to explain to our children/students that our leaders do not have to adhere to the same expectations that are required of us as children, students, co-workers, spouses, employees, etc? Do we say: “that’s politics?” Do we tell our children that this is not the way one should behave? One student pointed out to me that if students behaved the way that politicians behave they’d be sent to the office for a discussion about appropriate behaviour and if that behaviour persisted they might face disciplinary actions.

If the lack of civility in politics bothers me and if I want good characters to lead our country, whom do I vote for? I will exercise my right to participate in this democracy, but this ethical dilemma is challenging.—John Gordon, School Counsellor

The Senselessness of Locking Horns

Posted on April 6, 2011 by admin

There’s an old adage that “temper is what gets most of us into trouble, but it is pride which keeps us there.” This can be an issue at school where students are in close quarters and face the daily challenge of balancing demands from parents, teachers, friends and acquaintances.

We can learn something about the combination of unbridled temper and pride from an old monastery in a place called Bebenhausen, Germany. Hanging on the wall are two large pairs of deer horns. What’s unique is that the horns are tightly interlocked and permanently stuck together. The horns were found in that position many years ago. Apparently two mature bucks had been fighting for territorial superiority and, in their jousting, their horns became jammed together. Ultimately, they died in a fighting position. Unable to find a way to cooperate they were literally stuck, yet disabled.

These locked horns form a valuable symbol for the the many relationships found in today’s homes, schools, arenas, city traffic jams, and the list goes on. Unfortunately, like those two bucks in Germany, far too many people become entrenched in their positions on emotional topics and angrily oppose those who confront them. In the process, they find ways to figuratively “lock horns,” and the more they insult or abuse one another, the horns lock together tighter.

So if you’re at odds with someone today, go to that person, bury your false pride and find a way to reconcile and make amends. You may be surprised to find that the other person wants reconciliation as much as you do.

Let’s face it, reconciliation and compromise are not easy. Our students need to learn that life is about a series of compromises. No one is always right and we cannot always get our own way. The more we embed an understanding of that into our daily lives, the more successful we will be. –-Chris Shannon, Headmaster