Pay it Forward with Family Dinners

Posted on September 30, 2010 by admin

I don’t know if you are aware, but at our daily lunches in the Junior School there is a significant new focus on etiquette and bringing manners back to the table. In fact, we’re so serious about this initiative, that we have sent letters to Junior School parents explaining our dining focus. Essentially, on a weekly basis, a basic element of mealtime manners will be discussed and reinforced. What a great idea!

Manners, civility and what constitutes good behaviour at the dinner table are valuable tools for all students, regardless of age. In addition to the importance of good manners, did you know that family meals are actually critical for the healthy development of all children?

With easy access to fast food, the explosion of school and community activities, and very busy parents, we are now a more fractured society than 20 years ago. In most Canadian families, both parents work, and for obvious reasons, the quick fix at suppertime makes practical sense.

However, despite the challenges of busy evening schedules, research has shown that one of the best practices for any family is to find ways to eat together on a regular basis. In fact, regular family dining is actually one of the best indicators of family unity and the development of strong parent-child bonds. In terms of teenage development, the regular family meal is one of the best routines that to be enforced in any household. Why is it so important? Mealtime is when family members share, compromise, “confess,” and learn to listen. Family legends are passed down, jokes are told, and the wider world is examined through the lens of each family’s core values. In essence, the mealtime reinforces that citizenship in a family includes certain standards and expectations beyond individual whims of children.

The most extensive and probing study on family eating patterns was published a few years ago at Columbia University in New York and was reinforced with new data this week. In both studies the results were significant. Researchers found that the more families eat together, the more the investment of time together pays dividends. In fact, with regular family meals, teenagers are less likely to smoke, drink, experiment with drugs, suffer from depression or develop eating disorders. Students who eat regularly at family dinners also do better in school, are less stressed, have better vocabularies, eat a more balanced diet, and yes, they have good table manners. In short, there are some pretty significant advantages…. all from simply breaking bread together as a family!

Note that in a world where too often we seek complex solutions to problems, the family dinner is sort of like a magic blanket. So the next time your family sits together for a meal, lose the TV and cell phones, pull up a chair, take off the ball caps, sit up straight and engage in something called conversation. It’s amazing what everyone might share and learn. Let the magic of family dining do its work!
—Chris Shannon, Headmaster

Parenting Styles – Are you Permissive, Authoritarian or Authoritative?

Posted on September 29, 2010 by admin

Parenting is a challenging job. It is often said that we never receive any training for parenting, nor are there any manuals to guide us. These statements are partially true, but in fact there is a knowledge base from which we can receive guidance as parents.

The knowledge base of which I speak includes the self-help books on parenting that we can find in most bookstores. I believe that many of these books are helpful. Titles which come to mind include: I’ll Be the Parent, You Be the Kid by Paul Kropp; Between Parent and Teenager by Haim G. Ginott; How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by A. Faber and E. Mazlish; and Kids are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso.

One of the ideas articulated frequently in these books is that of “parenting style.” Parenting style refers to a “broad pattern of parenting” rather than specific parenting practices (Parenting Style and Its Correlates by Nancy Darling, www.athealth.com/Practitioner/ceduc/parentingstyles.html). We can refer to parenting styles as authoritarian, authoritative and permissive. Barbara Coloroso referred to three kinds of families, identifying the brick-wall family, the jellyfish family and the backbone family.

Authoritarian parenting relies on simple, abrupt and short responses to your child’s behavioural challenges. It is characterized by the expression “because I said so.” Permissive parenting typically grants permission to children for activities and behaviours because the parent feels the child can handle the challenge or simply as an easier way out of a challenging situation. Authoritative parents carefully consider and re-evaluate their parenting challenges daily. Authoritative parents make sure that their explanations for denying permission makes sense and take the time to explain it to their children. The explanation may be as simple as “It makes me feel uncomfortable because I worry when you do that. I am responsible for you and love your dearly. That is why I am saying no.”

Barbara Coloroso uses a similar schema but refers to families instead of parents. The brick-wall family uses a structure which is “rigid, for control and power” (like authoritarian). Jellyfish families lack structure and may not even see the need for structure and predictability (like permissive). Backbone families provide structure which is “firm and flexible and functional” (like authoritative).

As is so often the case, the middle ground is the best (authoritative parenting or the backbone family). It has been observed across North America that permissiveness in parenting is becoming far too common, contributing to a variety of personal and social problems among our children. “Authoritative parenting…is one of the most consistent family predictors of competence from early childhood through adolescence” (Parenting Style and Its Correlates by Nancy Darling). I urge you to examine how you parent your children and to strive for an authoritative style of parenting. Use the concept of a backbone family to shape your parenting style. The knowledge base in parenting, referred to above, is clearly pointing us in that direction. –John Gordon, School Counsellor

YPI Brings Volunteerism to Life for LCC Students

Posted on September 27, 2010 by admin

The Youth and Philanthropy Initiative is a great opportunity for grade 10 students to reach out into the community and make an impact in so many ways. Over the course of the school year, students divide themselves into small teams and choose a small, local, grassroots organization. Each team must prepare a presentation that outlines the organization’s mission, programs, impact on the community, and they must try to prove why their organization is worthy of the $5,000 prize offered by the Toskan Foundation. Although it may not seem that significant, the prize money can make a huge difference for these organizations. Event though they are all worthy of receiving the financial assistance, only one can be chosen as the winner in May.

However, money is not the only factor that determines the impact that students can have on the organization that they choose. In fact, the simple act of volunteerism—only five required hours of service to each organization—makes such a difference because they can always use a helping hand. Year after year though, students make the personal choice to spend more than just the minimum required hours volunteering at their organization because they realize how much their efforts mean.

My personal YPI experience was so rewarding, not only because my group won the prize, but also because we developed such a great relationship with the Executive Director Adrian Bercovici and his wife Natalie from Generations Foundation. They appreciated our help so much, and supported us every step of the way through the preparation of our presentation, offering all of the information and resources that we needed to demonstrate their organization’s importance.

YPI is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that teaches students the importance of volunteerism, and will certainly remain an important aspect of the grade 10 curriculum for many years to come.—Cory Oringer ’11 (grade 11)

Classe Rouge : Une bonne première impression

Posted on September 23, 2010 by admin

Aujourd’hui on est allé à la Classe Rouge. Avant qu’on embarque sur l’autobus, j’étais nerveux, anxieux et excite en même temps. Quand je suis arrivé a Jouvence, j’ai trouvé que c’était un camp moderne et beau. La première activité que mon groupe et moi avons fait était l’hébertisme. C’était une activité amusante. On est allé dehors dans les bois et on a fait des course et des activités amusantes. Aujourd’hui, j’ai eu une bonne première impression. –Andrew Black ’17 (grade 5)

Connecting for Life

Posted on September 22, 2010 by admin

Friendships and feeling connected: among the most important aspects of the school experience and children rely heavily on their close friends during these formative years. In fact, sociologists note that the influence of peers can be even stronger than family during the teen years.

We understand the importance of students developing close relationships. It’s very normal for them to depend on friends for fun, guidance, advice, and even inspiration.

I am amazed by how LCC friendships tend to grow, blossom and carry on. In fact, endurance tends to be a notable quality of LCC friendships. They begin with sharing classroom experiences and a host of activities. Our students enjoy countless hours of social time together and share incredible stories about competitions, tournaments, and memorable field trips.

What we witness in our graduates—“young,” “old” and somewhere “in between”—is that experiences as teenagers at LCC are more than formative; they often define core friendships that last a lifetime.

This coming weekend we host our annual LCC homecoming event, LIONfest with more that 250 graduates returning to campus for dinner and festivities. At LIONfest we focus on the graduates celebrating anniversary years—10, 20, 25, 30, 40, 50 years—and they will come in large numbers, and many will travel great distances to return “home.”

In fact, our two oldest living graduates are going out of their way to attend this event as they both feel a strong connection to LCC. Both 96 years of age and from the Class of 1932, they are excited about returning to campus, to see “their school.” One is even travelling from as far away as Vancouver with his son, who is also an alumnus.

This takes the significance of friendship and connection to school to a completely different level. In addition to providing an excellent academic foundation, LCC helps students form relationships that will last a lifetime. What a great privilege for us all! —Chris Shannon, Headmaster (Pre-U ’76)