Bullying is a very important topic that’s receiving a lot of attention, especially on the heels of some highly publicized teen suicides in Canada. LCC is involved in some special research on this topic with leading McGill Professor Shaheen Shariff. We hope to receive useful feedback later this year.
In coming to grips with bullying, I believe it’s important to first recognize that all people want to do well and be liked. A long time ago, American President Abraham Lincoln referred to this as “the better Angels of our nature,” essentially recognizing the positive in all people. But People don’t always get along and some kids can be downright nasty to others. Why? I think it’s because in addition to having different tastes or preferences, children are also naturally impulsive and lacking in self-control. Sometimes when jealousy or frustration enters the fray, impulsiveness wins and some children and teens exercise influence by acting out against others.
The other day I noticed an interesting quote on the wall just outside our counsellors’ offices: “Sometimes I have to remind myself that I don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.” So true, but so hard. In addition to succumbing to impulsiveness, the pressure to conform amongst teenagers is strong—and it is sometimes very hard to stand out or stand up for something unique or different. Sometimes when students present a different view or perspective, they invite strong criticism, and even taunting. In the face of this, teachers and parents need to help create environments where our kids have the courage to hold true to their convictions and will not tolerate any form of unwarranted critique.
At LCC we are serious about upholding some core values: respect and diversity. Respect means respect for self first, and for other students, teachers, staff, campus visitors (opponents in athletics especially). It’s the glue that holds together our community. It’s how students move forward; it’s why they help each other, why teachers reach out and assist. Respect is our foundation.
Diversity—We also celebrate difference at LCC – whether cultural, linguistic, religious or sexual orientation. Students have a right to be different and the right to be themselves, without interference, slander or harassment and certainly no form of bullying is ever acceptable.
As a society, I believe we are more aware and more tolerant of difference than ever before; difference as a strength. However, ignorance still lingers. We do not live in a lily-white world where all is pure. Not all are as accepting as we might hope.
One of the biggest changes in recent years is the online world that teens inhabit. It’s okay for them to have some independence, but some young people use this as cover – and hurl electronic insults about kids they don’t like.
Note that digital harassment is not going away. But we can stand up against it and together help teens from being victims or cowardly hiding behind their computer screens, sending messages they might later regret.
Finally, let’s consider the bully, the bullied and the bystander. Bystanders are those who are in the background – observers. That could be any one of us as a witness at almost any time. Yes, bullying and harassment is everyone’s business. If you see it happening, make it your business. We need to stand up for each other.
As health educator and motivational speaker Scott Fried said to our our high school students last year, “each student is enough!” Each one is a valuable member of our school community. They need to be able to emerge and to be themselves, without interference.
Respect and celebration of diversity: Let’s make sure we can live and celebrate that ethos every day! No exceptions! –Christopher Shannon, Pre-U ’76
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*** Note, to promote dialogue on respect, difference and anti-bullying, our students are taking to the stage. The Senior School LCC Players have chosen a play based on real-life events and sensitive issues around difference and degrees of acceptance. Come see “The Laramie Project” performed in the Chamandy Auditorium in on December 12 & 13 @ 7 pm.