As a teenager in the 1970s, I remember making a few embarrassing mistakes in high school that led to consequences I didn’t like. My parents never interfered with school discipline. They believed I had “earned” whatever punished came my way. I assure you, I learned from the queasy feeling that formed in my stomach every time I let people down who I respected. In-school punishments also had their intended impact.  Like all young people, I eventually learned to modify my behaviour to avoid unwanted punishments and the unsettling feelings.

We recently hosted Dr. Alex Russell at LCC.  In his address to parents he reminded us that students need to feel the pain of failure.  However, in his practice he sees many parents trying too hard to diminish negative consequences for their children – and soften the blow when their children intersect painfully with the real world. Dr. Russell sent a clear message: not a good idea.

As a psychologist, he has written a book called “Drop the Worry Ball:  Parenting in the Age of Entitlement.” He reminds parents that making mistakes and “facing the music” is an essential part of growing up. Mistakes are an unavoidable and inevitable part of life; stressful and difficult experiences essentially help children to learn how to cope with the rough edges of the world.

In fact, Dr. Russell told parents that the only failure in life that should be avoided is what he calls “catastrophic failure.” All other screw-ups help young people learn from their experiences – so hopefully they will perform better the next time. This is what happens in schools every day. It’s a key part of learning and maturing.

In the words of Dr. Russell, parents need to “drop the worry ball” and children and teenagers need to actually pick up the worry ball – not to become overly-stressed, but to learn how to face consequences of their actions, to navigate the world through progressive independence and the satisfaction that comes from genuine achievement.

So, let’s all try and do our best and see where the worry ball lands. The kids will be all right. –Christopher Shannon, Headmaster